I don't know why I started writing, I really am so much of a better talker. But I guess writing keeps me sane, and when I blabber it's always nice to know my blog is always listening :-)

Just recently blabbered:
too true
studiumleben
had life been simple
wah setinggi itu ya temboknya
a better learner
kenapa ya dengan blog gue?
another home away from home
my last day of being 18
so i figured :-)
vanishing to thin air

Monthly blabbering:
July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 /

• Addi
• Agnes
• Ale
• Alice
• Mendy
• Andrés
• Bem"
• Bems
• Bhe"
• Febi
• Ferna
• Fio
• Giorby
• Idep
• Iwe
• Joe
• Noni
• Pile
• Sinta
• Wege

Nestea Red Tea's campaign: My friend's hostsister took the picture on her exchange year in South America. I just looooove the tagline <3

"How's college?", kata Tim, "Heisse Männer und geile Parties?"

gue cuma bisa ketawa hahaha! ga seglamour punya dia kehidupan kampus gue. biar gimanapun, cheezy but honest, I love medschool. biarpun sekarang-sekarang ini erph. Research module. I just don't fit research module. Not the lecturers not anything about it: unwanted rendesvouz with numbers, picking sample sizes, calculating statistics, seemingly endless consultation, too much things to work on; too little interest.
TAPI POKOKNYA: I want to rock this module, just so I can be "HA! IN YOUR FACE!" to my stuck-up facilitator (insert maniacal laugh here).

Sayang memang module ini harus datang tepat setelah module First Aid yang sangat gue sukai <3. Di module kemaren kita belajar caranya CPR, mengatasi fraktura terbuka, swathe, bidai dan first aid-first aid lain utk penanggulangan kecelakaan dan korban bencana alam<3. Gue baru nyadar Paramedics tu keren bgt ya. Triage dalam waktu golden period itu susah bgt, apalagi kalo udah integrated skill, bhoaahh, ini apa dulu yg ditangani ya biar orangnya ga mati? hahaha..

Trus jadi baru ketemu yang namanya OSCE (Objective Structured Clinical Examination) :). OSCE itu ujian pake pasien imitasi (= mas-mas cleaning service hehehe), diawasinnya biasanya sama dokter spesialis atau dokter umum yg lagi belajar jadi spesialis (PPDS). ujian OSCE sama kyk naik roller coaster: asik-asik menegangkan. apalagi krn kita baru pertama kali OSCE mmgh, begitu bel ujian bunyi, masuk ruangan satu, baca kasus, menentukan harus ngapain, terus tindakan dalam waktu 5 menit, terus bel bunyi lagi, pindah ke ruang lain, baca kasus lagi, dan seterusnya. Kalau tegang banget, pasti jadi blank! Tahun lalu pengawasnya galak-galak, kalo total blank disuru keluar aja, ad yg disindir kalo salah haahh. Pas kita udah ketakutan eh ternyata tahun ini baik banget! yang jagain PPDS anggota tim bantuan medis. Malah "pasien"nya kadang-kadang suka bantuin kita sambil diam-diam (soalnya dia udh hafal penyakitnya apa dan harusnya diapain gara-gara seharian dijadiin pasien) hehehe.

Masih nunggu hasil OSCE gue nh, pokoknya harus lulus!

Kembali ke riset yang gue cintai. Setelah sempat down gara-gara topik riset yang gue ambil mirip banget sama risetnya supervisor module gue (padahal gue ga tau ga nyontek ga apa sumpah, gue kaget banget!) uuhh. jadi harus ngulang! lumayan sebel tapi sudahlah, kmaren udah dapet wangsit topik riset baru terinspirasi oleh Yann.

Semoga weekend ini ga penuh dengan procrastinating lagi deh :D, biar proposal riset gue beres dan minggu depan bisa nonton (motivasi yang salah??) hahaha..

Cheers! (pengennya sih bilang prost, kemaren habis nonton Inglorious Basterds soalnya ;))

I would just give you a simple yes, or a simple nod, or a simple smile.
But since it's not,
you saw my frown,
my hesitation,
my prognosis,
and worse of all: my doubt.

I'd have to give in that this is not always an all sugar and honey, but behind the occasional anxiety and migraine (which I'm having now), I believe I made a decision I want to make :)

Kalo kata mas-mas di Sportfreunde Stiller,
Tue nur dass was dein Herz dir sagt. Alles andere soll dich nicht stören. Doch mein Herz steckt im Kopf, und mein Kopf steckt im Sand, darum kann ich mein Herz nicht richtig hören.


P.S.
Kemaren pas Makrab KMK FKUI gue nangis pas denger lagu You're my All in All. Parah, udah berapa lama gue lupa He's my strength when I'm weak, He's the treasure that I seek and He's my all in all.. Tuhan, maafin saya ya..

heeeeeyyy:)
akhir-akhir ini cape-nya banget banget nih! lecture gue banyak bentrok sama field trip, sama praktek, sama Group discussion, sama PMDO, sama janji wawancara senior huaahh..

kemaren tuh one of the typical day:
8-10 Plenary
10-12.30 Lecture
12.30-13.00 Tes Sumatif
13.00-15.00 Group Discussion
15.00-16.00 Aerobik (modul wajib, bukan gue tiba-tiba pengen olahraga!!)
16.00-18.00 PMDO

uwooooow gue capeee. itu ga ada istirahatnya! mana hari minggunya gue cm tidur 2,5 jam buat ngejar berbagai laporan yg ternyata due date-nya bukan senen tapi dikasitaunya gitu. ah batch leader gue emg suka minta ditonjok.. begitu pulang di kosan jam 8 udah lgsg tepar.

sebenernya mgkin ga terlalu padat jadwalnya, cuman pengaturan waktu gue emg msh super jelek. soalnya in between ada urusan baksos, mabim reguler, dan mabim inter. kadang-kadang it's overwhelming, apalagi kalo datelinenya overlapping.

kalo dulu dibilangin 3 bulan pertama itu pasti plg berat adjustmentnya, nah emang gue baru skitar separo dari triwulan pertama sih.. tapi kalo di kurva W ini lg di bawah deh kyknya.. kerjanya gue pengen marah-maraaah terus. kalo ga lagi marah jd super sarkastik. penyakit lama bgt ga sih? haha..
pokoknya hari ini gue bertekad tidur cukup!:)

akhir-akhir ini gue kangen berat deh sama bokap & nyokab gue hiks hiks.. pengen cepetan hari minggu trus pulaang <3


Reality bites:
hari ini gue belajar lagi kadang-kadang ketidaktahuan itu emg yg paling bagus. social networking bikin kita tau bnyk hal yg bisa nyakitin org deh.. ahh tadi itu, pdhl gue kenal orangnya aja engga, tapi baca tulisan dia sediiihh bgt rasanya.

gue rasa semua orang tau tapi sedikit yg mengakui, kita mungkin bagian dari "satu", tapi gimanapun juga ada sekat-sekat di antara kita. di masa-masa tertentu kadang-kadang temboknya terlalu tinggi, gue jadi merasa bodoh sempat merasa bisa lompat..

ah tidur aja ah, time will heal.
(besok field trip empati ke RSCM, yay <3)

how do you be a better learner?
Today didn't start up swishing, mine particularly started with my laptop falling of my lap onto the busy street of Salemba. Then my interview with one senior got rescheduled and everything just scattered from then on.

One thing though.

Everyone had quite a morning ; 4 hours of lectures back-to-back. But guess what? It was during those lectures-when Blackberrys were on the table as people are tweeting nonsense- were the hours I didn't worry about anything, not about my laptop, not about my interview, just the lectures!

I was too busy being in awe the whole 4 hours..this professor, this surgeon doctor, this pulmonologist, all sparing their time to share something with us. I mean, your classmate's dozing off during class, that's normal. I'm recalling sometimes during High school I was even one of them. But today I got pissed. Why would you listen iPod during THEIR lectures? Why would you read OneManga? I'm not saying I'm the best student but honestly, look at the man in front of you, sense how wise he is, absorb how experienced he is, and now shame on you for disrespecting him! :( why are you even here in Med School? :( Honestly, it's such a waste.

How I wish I had better attention span,
how I wish I had always been more attentive,
how I wish I could ask the right question to the right lecturer at the right time, how I wish I could show more how much I respect all my lecturers,
how I wish I could express my gratitude for this chance,
how I wish I was a better learner.

tadi sempet tiba-tiba jadi ga muncul. bisa sedih banget tuh kalau hilang! padahal kalo dipikir-pikir isinya cm rentetan omongan gue aja. gue nggak bisa nulis essai yg perspektifnya dalam dan menggelitik, atau puisi yang romantis, atau argumentasi yg kritis, atau komentar yang nyentrik dan ga konvensional.
mestinya dipublish aja mgkin ya slog gue? haha. isinya curhatan melulu, geli sendiri gue kalo ngedengerin ulang rekaman-rekamannya hahaha.

Anyways. life has been tiring, I'm tired, todmüde. Tapi gue seneng:) life's pretty darn good man.
Kemaren lebaran jg asik, ketemu Ken di CityHall dan ngobrol berlama-lama di Starbucks. Terus smpet ketemu Miauw di Vivo jg, makan di Island Creamery dan jalan-jalan sampe kaki gue berasa mau putus. I love my friends :) I'm blessed with several good ones!


Tempat asik buat nongkrong nih si Island Creamery












Miauw :3

















Nothing much to say about the whole holiday except I shop like crazy! haha. And I gained 4 Kgs despite all those walking (jeeze). I get another crocs, and the cutest bag for Uni. Oh and, some German books because the Kinokuniya in Takashimaya is apparently loaded with them <3 *drool*

OH! the highlight of the holiday was probably my trip to the Gynaecologist to accompany mom's routine check up. GOD I LOVE THAT PLACE, it's filled with so much happiness. On the office wall are pictures of babies and kids, and thank you cards and christmas cards, grateful parents and just all-in-all ambience of laughter and joy of the new born kid.



































I'd really want that kind of job. It's a tough one, but it's just worth it (ya Tuhan.. beri saya umur panjang dan rezeki utk bisa merasakan kesempatan itu :))

Back home kemaren Minggu ada PDOKM, dari jam 6 pagi sampe jam 6 sore gue di kampus. buagh. berasa kyk mini PSAF aja, but it was surprisingly nice! Ga nyesel lah gue malem jam 10 baru pulang pagi jam 5 udah brangkat ke Salemba lagi hahaha.. Tapi gue emg cape, cape bgt. Mana module baru udh mulai Group discussion, plenary sm aerobic lagi. Yg terakhir itu khususnya bikin bawaan jadi ekstra berat aja! haha.

Trus, hari ini ada Lab Fisiologi, trus kyk ngukur cardiorespiratory fitness, muscle endurance, etc etc gitu lah. So I'm apparently flexible, tp (sesuai dugaan) jg punya ZERO arm power. BMI gue ideal, Waist to hip ratio gue normal, tapi BODY FAT GUE dong 25.7% (aduh aib malah disebar-sebar). My goodness! Hahaha.. gue harus berusaha biar lebih fit nih. Anyways tadi gue sama Nita sempet ber-waah waah gitu. Lab Fisio krn emg udah ada dari kapan, dosen kita dulu jg pake lab yang sama itu jg. Trus trnyata itu tmpt Abdurrahman Saleh nyebarin proklamasi lewat radio RRI yang pemancarnya dia rakit sndiri, ada piagam dr Soekarno, etc etc. Rame deh ternyata kejadian-kejadian Sejarah di lab Fisiologi itu hahaha.. historical site abis trus jd heboh lebay gitu gue har har.

Yang paling lucu, kan gue pake jas lab (warna putih, punya kak Leo :D) jadi ga kayak MaBa. Trus bbrp tmen gue sesama 2009 kalo lewat bilang "Permisi kaaak" atau "Siang kaak" gitu bwaahah, gue pengen ketawa sendiri. Ya ampun ganti warna jaket dari kuning ke putih langsung berubah deh auranya :D

As for the rest of it.. lagi bnyk magang-magang di badan kemahasiswaan gitu. hari ini ada PMDO di senat:). Lusa ke RSCM, gue jg masih hrs wawancara senior angkatan 2005. phew! so much stuff to do!

I hope everyone's also on the buzz of excitement, cause I definitely am!
But now all I need is some shut-eye. I'm dozzing off zzz.. <3

beberapa foto dari tempat kos gue :D, keciiil, a bit messy, tapi tempatnya asik. I simply love it!
tapi sekarang lagi ditinggalin kosnya, kan Lebaran jadi pulang doong! Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin buat semua teman dan keluarga yg ngerayain, gue mohon maaf lahir dan batin.. Di rumah lagi nge-osin sama Mama :P. Sayang lebaran ini ga banyak ketupatnya, but oh well, it's a really really nice break. I'll be up and about again next week :) Love my life <3

P.S. I had my American Flag bedsheet on, it's of no particular meaning, I just liked the pattern. I don't even know if it's legal/illegal. Tim says way to be more patriotic than he is (har har har). If I should be worrying about this issue let me know :P